Knock Yourself Out
Not sure how true this is but funny all the same. During the handover of a guard tower on my first day at the Maze Prison the lad who I was taking over from told me the story about one of his squadron who was on stag in the very same tower we where in, he was banging one out while on stag and as he was reaching his ‘vinegar stroke’ he touched the extremely hot radiator with his bell end and the pain was so excruciating that he fainted.
When the next guy tried to get into the tower on the change over he couldn’t open the hatch, first assuming that the lad was only sleeping on duty he shouted a couple of times but got no reply and was left with no choice but to run back to the guardroom and inform the guard commander who dispatched his second in command to investigate.
On arrival at the tower the guard 2 I/C climbed the ladder and with some effort finally opened the hatch to find the guard unconscious on the floor with his trousers and pants around his ankles, his man tackle was on show for the world to see and had a massive blister on the end.
When the 2 I/C finally managed to stop laughing he radioed the guardroom and requested that the squadron medic come to the tower and when he explained why the whole guardroom erupted in laughter.
It was said that by the end of the day that even the inmates of the prison knew about the lad who knocked himself out while knocking one out.